The graves of Stella Hills (1869-97) and her mother, Julia Stephen (1846-95)

You don't have to book: just turn up at the Eastern (non-Church of England) part of Highgate Cemetery in Swains Lane (bit of a walk from Archway tube, buses require research,* or park where you can [Swain's La is partly one-way S to N]) between 10am and 4pm (10 and 5, Apr-Oct) and go in the entrance by the chapel - whoever is on the gate will sell you a map with Sir Leslie Stephen marked on it (he is, however, not buried there: he was cremated in 1904 and his ashes were scattered over his wife's grave). The graves are fairly near the gates. However, as you will see when you find them, there is nothing engraved on Julia's stone, so that would make it harder if it wasn't that Stella Hills's is visible next door.** On the other side of Stella is an empty space: apparently, Jack bought the space, but failed to take up his option in 1938 (no doubt the result of his second marriage). Thoby Stephen (1880-1906) was cremated and his ashes were also scattered there. Although Julia's stone appears without lettering, there are a couple of lines down the bottom which you can just identify as referring to Thoby (if you know in advance).

See Woolf's A Passionate Apprentice, pp. 115-16: 'Stella was buried by mother's side in Highgate ... Jack took Nessa and me to Highgate to see Stella's grave. The grave is next mother's - near you as you go in. It was covered with dead flowers - we sat down & talked for a long time ...'

* Possibly the C11 goes up Swains Hill but there's no bus stop at the Cemetery main gates; alternatively, it is suggested that you take buses 143, 210, or 271 to Lauderdale House and then walk through Waterlow Park.

** From the gates take first unpaved path curving to the left; shortly after there is a narrow unpathed path at 90 degrees to the left; at this point Stella's stone is visible at the top of the little path by the fence, behind which is Waterlow Park (also as a clue, at this point while still on the bigger path on your right is a black shiny gravestone with gold lettering to Benjamin E.K. Simmons, 1987).